Getting Your Voice Heard

FREE

Getting Your Voice Heard ## We have all encountered situations where we found it difficult to make ourselves heard or get our point across.

Being assertive is a core communication skill, allowing you to express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view while respecting the rights and beliefs of others.

There are many benefits being assertive can bring: ## It can boost your self-esteem. Help with stress management. Earn respect from others. ## Improve communication. ## Create win-win situations. Improve your decision-making skills. ## Gain more job satisfaction.

## Do you feel confident feel confident and relaxed in some situations whereas you feel frustrated or angry in others?

This may be down to the response style of the person you are trying to communicate with. ## By recognising the main response styles that we all use, we can take control of the conversation.

Listed below are some non-verbal behaviours one can respond with. Which are characteristic of an aggressive response?

Now, select the expressions of an assertive response style: Select all that apply

What is Assertiveness? Assertiveness is a communication style.

## It's being able to express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions in an open manner that doesn't violate the rights of others.

Which of the following actions demonstrate assertiveness? Select all that apply

So why aren't we more assertive? Children are punished for not being "nice" Praised for doing something someone else wants us to do Schools reward quiet behaviour Beliefs on how women or men should behave Afraid of rejection Don't want to hurt/embarrass others Encouraged to be aggressive to get what we want

Assertion is a personality trait.

# Think about how you act in the following situations. Do you behave differently? ## With friends ## With family ## At work ## With people you know or you don’t know

## Now, think of a situation when you were non-assertive. What could you have done differently?

## Remember ## As with any new skill you learn, the first time you try these techniques they may not go the way you planned. It is important you don’t beat yourself up about this but look at what went wrong and how you might do it differently next time. And then have another go! Over time you will find that they get easier.

Basic Assertion Basic assertion is when we make a statement that expresses clearly our needs, wants, beliefs, opinions, or feelings. This type of assertion can be used every day to make our needs known.

Typically basic assertion uses “I” statements. Examples of an “I” statement are: “I need to leave by 5 o'clock" "I feel pleased with the way the issue has been resolved"

Repeated Assertion Repeated assertion is making the same request, but taking into account the other's response. For example... ## "I'd like you to do the washing up now" "I am watching TV" ## "I can see that, but I'd like you to do the washing up now" "I will do it at the end of the programme" ## "I know you want to watch it, but I'd like you to do the washing up now" "I will do it later" ## "That does not work for me, so could you please do the washing up now?"

Stop. Pause and think about a few situations from this week where you could have used these techniques?

Are there any that you feel more comfortable with than others?

# The OOF Model ## Is a technique you can use in a longstanding situation - when a problem is evident and you feel unhappy about it. The OOF model will allow you to effectively consider your options for response.

## Put yourself in this situation: You've had a hard day. You're just about to settle down with some mind-numbing programme or box set on Netflix and a glass of wine/chocolate. You see through the window a friend is coming up the road to your house, who you know will just talk and talk.

# The DESC Model ## If you find yourself in a difficult situation where you'd like to be assertive but lack the confidence to communicate your feelings, the 'DESC' model provides a useful framework.

## The DESC model can also help you form a script to form your thoughts, an action plan. Use it to practice so you don't get flustered in a situation.

That's it! Remember... Assertion is a choice

# Start small and practice ## Pick a repeated situation that you want to change ## Try applying OOF ## If you choose the assertive option, try DESC to make sure you can remember what you want to say

Alison Theaker has 30 years experience in public relations and management as a practitioner, academic and author. Having taught in higher education in the UK and US, she uses her expertise to enable others to be the best they can be as a business mentor, trainer and coach. She can help you find your own Spark! Get in touch here: https://www.thesparkuk.com/